So...lets just recap whats been happening in my life since my last entry shall we?
...The last time I spoke with Jareth I was forced into his realm, er, well pulled is more like it. Remember that I can project to these places ne? Well...apparently my ignoring of his prescence forced him into action, which he deftly took. To put it lightly I said everything I have always wanted to say and everything that I needed to say. I know that the voice I used with him, staring across that table at him, letting my tea get cold, was one I only use with people whom I consider...people I don't know. I use it with people of whom I am quite unaware of where I stand with them. It is a tone of neutrality though my anger could not well be hid from it once I began my words of regreat, of brutality, of what must be said that was said.
I could see that the tone hurt him...but I am beyond caring right now.
In the end, I said goodbye and turned on my heel and left. I am through with his complications. My life is quite complicated enough and I do not need to deal with him and the consequences of his actions that he seems unable to comprehend! I have had enough with him and I'm not the only one.
No he's not exactly taking this well but thats to be expected. I'ts Jareth after all...the one person you think you can fall back on(Which for him was me) has just for lack of a better word disowned you and slammed her door in your face, thats what I did to him and quite frankly...
I feel really bad about it but it had to be done.
Beyond that I've managed to find a rip in the barrier seperating Makai from every other world. I tried several times to break through myself but eventually said screw it and searched for the little rips that occur naturally. I found one...it leads to Northern Makai...so I am currenlty in contact with one of the beings that raised me from a kitten. Youko Kurama, my nii-san...still the same as ever but...Kuronue is no longer with us....we beleive he is deceased, in which case I..well...can only regret not trying to get my ass to makai, even if I'm only a projection, sooner becuase I may have been able to prevent his death.
I miss Kuronue...
I've also been able to go to Mirkwood...I've been tackled by my brothers, Elladen and Ellrohir and I've tackled Legolas...we've had out playful fights and I must have clung to my father (Elrond) for a good five minutes chanting "Ada!" when I managed to notice his prescence by that river. A few days ago as well...I was STUPID! I have FIVE shots of Miruvore....what in the name of the underworld was I thinking!
Miruvore...straight, is stronger than any liquor human brewers can come up with...and an elvish shot is like...a human shotglass but times 3, it's BIG. I had FIVE...last time I had this stuff I only made it to three before I passed out.
But thats not the point...I hate this. It's wonderful to see them all again...to hug them to talk with them and play and cuase misheif and everything but...I'm only a projection! We had this same problem in the Junkyard...and beleive me I do miss Mungojerrie...Heh...silly little koneko I am. Middle Earth and Makai...those places are HOME...but I'm only a projection...I can't take anything back with me and no matter what I'm grounded here..
Do you have any idea how depressing it is to fall asleep as a projection in Mirkwood and KNOW your going to wake up HERE...I can't stay becuase it's an energy draining thing. Not to mention I'm using energy keeping that stupid rip to makai open.
It's almost not worth the onslaught of pain to project over to these places...at times...it's just not worth it and yet it is. These may be my only oppertunities to do this...to see my family again, to talk to them...
But the experience is a jaded one and my heart is bleeding through it all.
~Avi~